The Scottish Limerick Book: Filthy Limericks for Every Town in Scotland

Publisher Marketing: Surely it can't be done. But it has been done. For the first time in the history of mankind someone has been dedicated enough and fool enough to write a filthy limerick for every town in Scotland. From the Highlands and Islands to the Scottish Borders, from Whitburn to John o' Groats, The Scottish Limerick Book covers every city, town or village in the country that has a population of 3,000 or more. This unique volume provides the very finest in vulgar humour and gives them all a filthy limerick to call their own. There are over 250 limericks in the book. A lot of them are hilarious. Most of them are very funny. All of them are filthy. Stobswell, Dundee I asked the doctor from Stobswell If he could tell me if my Uncle Bob's well He said for an answer 'He's got testicular cancer But on the positive side, though, his knob's well' Grangemouth, Falkirk In Grangemouth there's an oil refinery A port, a canal and a winery And to thrill you to bits All the girls have 10 tits That is if you count them in binary Galston, East Ayrshire At Galston in the Valley of Irvine I once ate a meal quite unnerving The sausage gave me a shock It looked just like my cock Apart from its more pronounced curving Beith, North Ayrshire They staged a biblical play once in Beith But the costumes were a little too brief The end of Adam's wang Did quite clearly hang Out from under his tiny fig leaf Larkhall, South Lanarkshire At the fete in the town of Larkhall A big hit was my sexual aids stall Demand was so fantastic For the vaginas in plastic It just ended up in a brawl Bishopton, Rensfrewshire At a masochists' party in Bishop-ton Not being one to be easily outdone When a chap got out his dick And whacked it with a stick I got out mine and shot it with a gun