Amateur Night

BLURBSally and her undersized half-brother Hermie are strange people. Every weekend they venture forth from Piggott Arkansas to small towns in one of the three adjacent states. When they arrive, they rent a motel room from which they fan out to the local saloons. In Amateur Night Sally and Hermie are off to another nearby town on one of their weekly treks. You won't believe the mischief they cause on Amateur Night. EXCERPTShe pulled their 1979 Ford F150 into the full gravel parking lot. The parking lot was full. Sally peered at the billboard JEZABEL'S 'G' SPOT Topless Saloon. Lower on the billboard read Thirty Luscious Babes. Below that was Two Mostly Naked Girls Performing at All Times. Across the parapet of the building hung a banner. One half had fallen down, but was still readable. Amateur All Nude Contest every Friday, $500 Nightly Prize, Monthly Grand Prize $2,500. She reached behind the seat and pulled out the bag containing one of her stripper outfits. As she strutted to the club, two men, one young and one older came out. "Wow, look at them jugs, the older one said. "I know, and get a load of her ass. Maybe we should stick around." "Do you work here, sweetheart?""Fuck no, I wouldn't work in a shit hole like this, but I am going to enter the Amateur Contest and show it all. If you want to ogle my shaved pussy you'd better stick around."They glanced at each other, about faced and watched Sally's fine ass, as she glided into the club. Sally went straight to the bar and grabbed a stool. She pulled a cigarette from her purse and stuck it in her mouth. As she searched purse for her lighter, the bartender lit her cigarette...and her fire. "What'll you have, babe?" The winsome grin of the handsome bartender welcomed her. "Do you have Pina Coladas."He threw a napkin down in front of her. "Sure, I'm multi-talented."Sally laughed. "I'll bet you are." He wore a black vest over a long-sleeved white shirt. Black gay nineties arm garters wrapped around both upper arms. Sexy looking and a personality, too. Mmmm, a winning combination. She read his nametag-Nick. He flipped another napkin on the well-worn bar for Hermie, who'd eased in next to Sally. "What'll you have, partner?"Hermie sneered at Nick. He sneered at every man who was better looking than he. In other words, everyone with a dick. "I'll have a Bud.""Pina Colada and Bud, coming right up."As Nick set the drink down, Sally licked the bottom of her top lip languorously with her tongue. She raised her long fingered hand and rubbed Nick's cheek with her knuckles "Tell me handsome. What time does the amateur all nude contest begin?"Nick eyed her grapefruit sized cha-chas, and then scanned what he could see of her body. "You missed the preliminary round, Doll. The final round is in forty-five minutes."Her brow furrowed deeply. "Dang. I did so want to win. I could use the five bills.""Couldn't we all," Nick reflected. "I'll tell you what. Obviously you would have made the cut, so I'll let you participate with the four other girls."He surprised her. "You can do that?"His smile almost made her crème. "Sure, I'm the judge."God she wanted him. "And do I have to sleep with the judge to win?"He laughed. "Only if you want to. You already won." He winked. She curled her forefinger motioning him closer and he leaned partly across the bar. She whispered so Hermie wouldn't hear. "If I was to say I wanted to, what time do you get off?" "By the time I kick the stragglers out and close up it would be almost two-thirty. But I get a thirty minute break." He glanced at his watch and puckered his sexy, luscious lips in a mock kiss. "In about three minutes."