Automatic as HSP with dissociation

My parents had made plans for my life, but they were not realized according to their expectations. I never had fixed plans myself. I will never have fixed plans. I have no fixed plans for the rest of my life. Now that I am 62 years old, I notice that to a large extent life goes by itself. People largely live and respond in an automatic way. I have always done what came to my mind. I will always do what will come to my mind. Because my life goes by itself. I notice that, as HSP, every day. Because as HSP, I notice the little things, whether I like it or not. I notice small changes, whether I like it or not. People who are successful think they have planned their lives. But there are small and big successes. There are spiritual and material successes. There can be successes in every sense. It depends on how you view everything in life. I can't plan everything. I can't buy everything. For example, I cannot buy health. Now that I am 62 years old, I notice more and more that I am especially successful in a spiritual sense, thanks to the presence of the mental disorders PTSD, (open and hidden) narcissism, codependency, gaslighting (cunning manipulation technique of hidden narcissism) and TPS, in the family I grew up in. As HSS, I keep trying and experiencing in the rest of my life, in an automatic way.